As spiritual seekers, we have a desire for a free, joyous, and fulfilled life while on this Earth. As humans, we need to align with our spirit and mind to become the enlightened beings we are truly meant to be.
The alignment comes when we surrender and have the courage to release the need to control our future, be happy, trust and embrace the experiences given to us, and become aware of our resistance to the now.
One of the things I have found most challenging, on my journey to become happier, truly connect, and become deeply grounded within myself, was to let go of control and surrender to self-love, joy, and happiness.
I simply didn’t know how to, I kept desperately trying to figure it out, I tried to force it. The two keywords on why I did not succeed at first: were desperation and force. Desperate energy repels and to surrender, we must be able to trust and let go. Surrender to higher consciousness, whether this is a God or the Universe. Trust and have faith that everything is exactly as it is supposed to be, all is well. Trust that the timing is perfect, and train your mind to believe that you are precisely where you are meant to be at this time, at this moment.
It can be challenging, especially if you believe that you are suffering. If this is the case, accept the feelings, embrace them in your mind, and allow them to flow through you like a soft cloud in a blue summer sky. Have the experience of what it is, but do not become the feeling. Restrain from identifying yourself with the feeling and this will be of great impact on your journey of self-development. You are much more than your feelings, your thoughts, and your present circumstances.
Your birthright is love, joy, and happiness. Your choice is to decide whether you want to believe in this or not and to decide if you will stay a victim of the past, or be a host for your future.
Why do we resist love, happiness, and joy?
We are creatures of habit, and until we understand that we have a choice and the power to change our lives right now, in this very moment, only then can we let go of the shackles to our past and whatever feelings attached to it and help ourselves be better. We keep creating look-a-like situations of the past and attract people who can feature in this bubble in order to recreate known scenarios and feel safe. Our minds invent stories that fit our poor self-image of being a victim, of being unworthy, and unlovable.
I call it false happiness because it feels comforting and pleasant since it is recognizable, but it is at the same time very painful and we keep suffering because of this belief. When will it be time to put an end to the suffering and surrender? When will you finally shine your bright beautiful light, as the divine being you were born to be?
I may scream “surrender” to you or I may whisper “let go and believe” but words do not teach, they can only inspire. It is within you to find healing and motivation and decide when the right time is. Ask yourself, “What do I need to let go of on this journey of self-help and self-love? How willing am I to experience short-term discomfort following the path of change and self-development, to unlock the long-term bliss of your fabulous future.”
If you think it is time for you if you feel that you’re ready to step into the path of the unknown, detach from the outcome, and have faith in what lies ahead. Trust and have the belief that now is your time, your moment, empower yourself, and fall in love with who you are and what your life is. I urge you to read on.
Key takeaways from my journey of surrendering.
Let go of controlling everything. Thinking we are in charge of the outcome of every given situation is often what keeps us stuck in our current circumstances. Completely release the need to control and trust that the universe (or God, whatever you believe in) has your back.
Try and consider this perspective; if we really knew what our true path was, would we have chosen all the experiences and situations we have had to endure throughout our life? Let this be your motivation. Remember that it is our egos that want to control everything and this is often from a set of fear-based beliefs. In this, we feel safe and think our egos are protecting us, when in fact they’re causing us more pain and suffering.
Forgiveness and appreciation have been transforming practices in my life. Let go of whatever holds you chained to your past. You do not have to accept people treating your poorly, but to truly trust and leap into your abundant future, you must forgive. Forgive others to set yourself free from the pain and heavy feeling in your chest that comes with holding the grudge.
It can feel easier to blame everybody else for whatever is holding you back, be it your parents, previous partners/spouse, or even your co-workers. It feels fair if everybody else changed so that you could just stay the same because you have already suffered enough. You have worked so hard and you feel that it is time for everybody else to change so that you enjoy your life and get what you really deserve. If this is what you believe, let me ask you this; why do you give your power away? What is so satisfying about being the victim? We cannot change other people, nor should we because they have their own journeys to travel. You can only change yourself and the question to ask yourself is, do you really want to?
If you do, start this journey of self-development and healing with forgiveness, yourself included. Appreciate the things you have however small they might be. Give thanks to the good things in your life and the people who give you joy and make you happy. When we appreciate, we show that we are open to receiving more to be grateful for. Rejoice over this magical life, a sunbeam, a rainbow, a smile. Become aware of all the magnificent signs showing you that life is truly beautiful and keep in mind that what we focus on is what manifests.
The hidden signs from your body
The body tends to hold on longer to fear and trauma than the mind. Even when we have released the negative thoughts and become aware of what we are thinking, there could still be residues of past events stored in our bodies. Even when they are completely different circumstances and there is nothing to be afraid of or worry about, the trauma can easily be triggered by situations that seem similar to previous happenings in our past.
First and foremost, start observing your body, your posture, how you hold your head, and whether you are always thinking or constantly tense?
For me, it was tightening my shoulders, so much so that they would turn forward and upwards. This is a natural reaction from a person with a body that is used to living in fear, anxiety, and stress. It is a way for the body to protect itself and the heart which is quite fascinating. Another sign was my jaw; I would bite hard or lock my jaws together without realizing it which would result in soreness. Lastly, I would hyperventilate or hold my breath for an unhealthy time and I was unaware of all the signs my body was presenting as it had become part of my way of showing up to the world, which suited the story I’d told myself; a story that hindered my desire to be happy, a story that made me lack the motivation to be worthy, good enough and safe.
When I started the self-help process and began to flip my beliefs and tell myself another story, my thoughts and feelings became much more positive and many times, I felt a tinkle of pure happiness in my stomach. But because I had not yet worked on my body enough to understand the signs, I still got the thoughts of fear, worry, and doubt, and my brain would create stories that suited the signs from my body as they work closely together. When I started to observe my body and worked on relaxation and my breathing, the positive changes I had begun to experience got stronger and more deeply rooted in me. Body, mind, and soul are a trinity, and we must work on all three to experience the most enlightenment.
Observe these things and practice what a confident happy person would look like, how they would walk, talk, stand, etcetera. Think to yourself how a person with self-love would present themselves to the world and replicate it. It may seem a little uncomfortable or maybe even weird at the start and that is completely okay and normal. Give yourself time to progress as it is a process of healing and it will become more natural and make a tremendous difference in your life.
Meditation is a game changer.
It is in the stillness between breaths in meditation that the answers we are seeking to find will come to us. All the answers to the questions we have are within each one of us and we often do not keep still long enough to allow ourselves to find them. Meditation enables us to do just that as we lock our bodies in one position, and allow our minds to settle and receive whatever we need to know from our subconscious in that moment. Take deep breaths and let the answers come to you with ease. You will be amazed by all the wisdom you hold inside you.
Keep meditating daily because repetition reaps results. 10-15 minutes of every day is enough and I find that doing it in the morning is most beneficial as I am able to dwell on the good vibes from meditating throughout the day.
It can be challenging to quiet our minds during meditation and this is normal, so do not worry about it and trust that with time and practice, it will become part of you. When you are meditating, a few thoughts will appear and you just have to let them flow through you without paying them any significance and slowly they will disappear as quickly as they came.
Most of the time I use guided meditation, there are several apps for this including, ‘HalloMind’ and Hay House’s ‘Empower you’ which are in my opinion, fantastic. I also use YouTube where I search for the keywords I want to meditate on and in this context, they would be ‘surrender’, ‘forgive’, ‘self-love’, or ‘appreciation’ and then followed by the word meditation. I select the ones with the length of time suitable for me (10-20 minutes), and add them to my playlist ‘meditation’. That way, I can always return to the ones I liked best. I have added a few links to some of the ones I feel have made a significant change in my life at the bottom of this article.
I hope you found this article useful and that it is going to help you get started or continue improving your life. Remember that you are enough just by being you and be happy with that.
Below you will find links for my book #27 Easy daily steps to enhance your happiness. It is a self-help book with short exercises which are easy to apply to a busy daily routine. You will also find links to meditations and a short list of books I used and found valuable in the healing process of surrendering, forgiving, and becoming my bright authentic self.
Loving others starts by loving you first.
I love you because I learned how to love myself.
Louise Lai Wiinholt
Books:
#27 Easy daily steps to enhance your happiness
By other authors;
You can heal your life by Louise L. Hay (Hay House)
How to love yourself by Louise L. Hay (Hay House)
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins
I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou
Meditations:
ho’oponopono – powerful ancient Hawaiian mantra to manifest miracles
(this version by Master Sri Akarshana)
Surrender (10 minute guided meditation)
(By Great Meditation)
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